Advertisement For A New Wife

He joked that he would let me leave if I can find him a new wife..I replied easy will put together an ad and find him one...
His requirements:
5' 5" (a bit taller than me)
smart
witty
classy
nice rump (ummmm sounds like a piece of meat he's after..but then he's a country boy)
wants to cook good food all the time
have a high sex drive
not a grump 

I told him oh...dont know about the cooking bit...might be hard to find someone that fits that description..

him...well I am getting a replacement aren't I ? and the replacement have to be as good ..if not better??

the next bit was an in depth job description..

a good house keeper, must be able to do book keeping, ..an on call pharmacist..a good mum to 3 kids...and must be available for sex at any time..

I then said..no hope there..too many criteria...could we leave them out? for no way is anyone going to reply to the ad..

him...but we need to be straightforward...must be fair to the applicant..so they know what they are in for..

I...

him...then you cant leave....