One Foot In

be there long term...have refused too many times.....

but when I rang home he said he would be working Tuesday..packing..he knows by saying that I will come back...feels bad about the kids...don't feel bad about him packing..he brought it on himself..

part of me feel bad about the kids..the other part of me want to stay in Geelong this Cup Day just to rest....too tired to drive back twice in the one week...my week is usually busy...I barely make it through the week coming back every weekend...as I dont drive back to Geelong till late...last week got back at 1130pm...Geelong have become my little sanctuary..to rest...

but if I don't ...I feel guilty..

I am worried my kids will influence my decision to return to my family...just so they dont suffer...yet I am scared I am doing it for the wrong reason...K said to me you will never be happy...it will happen again and again...why not split up and be happy and take care of your kids..they will appreciate having two happy parents much more than if you guys stay together and be miserable..

I asked my friend L...her parents are divorced..my question was do you ever wish your parents are back together? ..she replied no...never...ever since I was little I could see they were miserable together..the best thing they did was to get a divorce...

I am not an advocate for divorce..for to me it is easier to leave..it's much more harder to stay and try to work things out...

all these years..I feel tired..don't know if I have the energy to stay and try to work it out one more time..the years have worn me out..